The Baking Story

A Little Something I wrote today:

This is a story about an amazing baker who was born into the world to, well…bake. Her name, funnily enough, was Suzy Baker. Suzy loved ingredients, she would mix and concoct, enjoying every minute of adding “this” to “that”. In the beginning she prepared simple mud pies, sand cookies and play-dough cupcakes…but she always knew she would grow up to be an amazing baker. Sometimes, ok MANY times she would draw pictures of her creations, and in the picture there were always TWO bakers. Suzy and another. “Who is this other baker?”, she wondered. “Oh well”, she giggled “time will tell.” And she went on her merry way creating pretend treats, just as any little girl baker would.

Suzy grew up…as we all do, of course…no mystery there. And she became known all over school as “The Baker”. She always had some amazing doo-da to show off and share with her friends. It was fun, she loved to bake, it was in her soul.

As she grew even older, she found that the world was actually a pretty competitive place as far as baking was concerned. No longer was she a big fish in a small pond, she was a minute, miniscule, teeny tiny baker in a gigantic world of superior bakers. “No worries! I have my confidence!”, Suzy would say, and she set out into the world to bake her heart out. Along the way, she met another amazing baker and they became fast friends. Friendship turned to more, they became partners and found that their creations together were fun and challenging. Over time, the challenges became harder and tougher. Suzy found herself working overtime on many recipes while her partner grew jealous and spiteful. Suzy loved her partner though, and just kept encouraging him to help her make more pies, cakes and pastries. Suzy’s partner decided to vanish one day and Suzy cried for a bit…she scratched her head a lot and asked the Baker in the Sky…”what was THAT all about?” Suzy didn’t realize it, but her heart was broken.

Suzy went about her business. Baking sort of lost its meaning for awhile, but occasionally she would dream about baking. One time the dream was quite surprising. She dreamed of a giant, delectable cake with so many layers she could not count. The cake was not only delicious it was stunningly beautiful. “Is this MY cake?” Suzy asked no one. The answer came to her through the ether…Yes, of course this was her cake. Suzy Baker found excitement building inside of her, so many questions came to mind. “What are the ingredients? Where do I start? Is there anyone who can help me?” Suzy was not terribly patient, it was one of her many baker’s flaws. She wanted this amazing cake, she wanted to be a part of it. She was ready to build the most amazing cake of her life.

She recalled the drawings she made as a child-baker. Particularly, the drawing of two bakers, and she also remembered her previous baking partner who vanished. Could she find another partner who could help her build this amazing cake? How would she describe the cake to said potential partner? Would they all just think she was crazy? “Play it cool, Suzy Q” Suzy would say to herself, “just play it cool.” Suzy, once again went out into the wide world of bakers and swam amongst the many fishes in the ginormous baker pond.

Many bakers came to her with ideas, and she loved hearing all about them. Baking was so exciting, and she loved swapping baking stories. Suzy found that all these bakers would contribute one main ingredient…icing. Yes, Suzy loved the icing, it was delicious and sweet, and overindulgence was frequent. Icing was definitely a key ingredient to every cake, she could not deny it…but she found that an actual CAKE never really developed in any of these relationships. Sometimes there were mini-cakes, and Suzy would stack the mini-cakes together to see if it resembled the sensational cake of her dreams, but it never did. The potential baking partners would drift away, grow tired and bored and nauseated by all the icing…and Suzy agreed with them. Icing is great, but there must be more. “What other ingredients are out there I wonder?” Suzy searched and searched…but no one brought interesting ingredients to the table…other than, of course…icing.

Suzy grew despondent. Why was this dream brought to her? Why couldn’t she find anyone to build this amazing cake with her? And she realized one day…”DUH! This is MY cake, and I am the head baker! I must learn to bake this cake myself!” So Suzy shook off her depression and began her research. She wrote about cake, she talked about cake, she read about cake and she searched high and low for the best ingredients. Her kitchen became her wonderland. Many nights Suzy would fall asleep at the mixer mumbling, “three cups of refined sugar, fold the eggs gently…” but she knew that all of her hard work would be worth it. The main ingredients, she realized, were not simply sugar and flour and eggs at all…they were patience, timing, understanding, self-esteem, passion, growth, knowledge, bravery, love and tolerance. “Wow. I wonder how many people have made a cake with all of those ingredients?” Suzy pondered. The answer came to her from the ether once again, “Not many, Suzy, not many. That’s why YOUR dream cake is so spectacular. It’s a cake that few have tasted.”

Blogging on the Back Burner

Yes, its been awhile since I have written a post here. My schedule is beyond hectic, and my innate tendancy is to make things even more complicated...so there you go.

In the past few weeks I have had my hose stolen, my neighbor came to my door and told me about a job in her office, had some family photos taken for Christmas, watched a few movies at home and did some shopping for myself. Yay me! Of course I am not so happy about my jhose being stolen, but in the scope of things, that is pretty minor and I am pretty happy with the way things are going. I also had vertigo for a few days which was kind of creepy, but I am very good at getting to the bottom of an illness and healing it.

Dante is not doing great in his virtual high school, but we are getting to know the program, so I think things will improve over time. Julian is doing fabulously.

So anyway, at this point in time, I am not sure what else to write about. I have been keeping up pretty well on my other blog at www.lifeonthemoon.biz if you get the urge to go over there and read something more interesting, hahaha.

MoonGirl out.

My Show Starts Tonight

As some of you know, I am a huge Grey's Anatomy fan. Season 4 was a disappointment for me on some levels, for one, because of the writers strike...(whatever, get over yourself and your multi-million dollar contracts.) But also because the season started reeeeally slow. They had two good episodes, one was about "faith" and the other was the season finale. I am really hoping Season 5 shapes up to something interesting. We will find out tonight! I really don't care if Callie and Haun have a lesbian affair, or if McSteamy joins them in a threesome...yawn. I do want to know how Meredith finds her healing place, I want to know if George can start standing up for himself, and I want to know what's up behind moody Karev and his mysterious past. To me it has been obvious all along how much Karev loves Izzy, and he is so afraid to show it or to let himself be consumed by that emotion. Izzy is also afraid. Actually...everyone is afraid.

Great topic. Fear. Read my other blog at http://www.lifeonthemoon.biz/ if you are interested in learning more about healing fear.

Moongirl out.

Did Everyone Miss Me?

WOW! I have been through the craziest three weeks of my life. I have been working both jobs, fighting my mortgage lender to pay my property taxes, getting my kids set up for school (yes homeschooling again this year) and singing wherever I can fit it in.

Oh, AND my computer crashed.

So, as it turns out, my property taxes finally got paid. School is going swimmingly. And I am using my son's new computer. The singing is fun, but I need to be more serious and start practicing much more.

My new job is, in a word, extremely UNexciting. All I do all day is either data entry or package school pictures. Nobody talks to me and there is no pressure no music just me and a stack of kids pictures that need to be stuffed into envelopes. This is a GOOD thing. I can stand there and get paid to do this mundane job while I am working on healing in my head and in my heart. The work keeps my subconscious busy and my soul explores possibilities. I have found that even though I KNOW what my issues are, it is now time to manifest the actual healing. As I package pictures, I listen to what God has to say. I watch my emotions go up and down. It is amazing to learn so much about me and I am filled with gratitude.

My next project is to start writing letters. I have a few people who need to hear from me. Like REALLY hear from me as I have been holding back words and feelings over the past few years. For one, I have a hard time sifting through all the information. I ask for experiences and then I don't know how to deal with them. Right now is the time I am able to sort through it all and make sense of it, so I need to mend a few relationships.

So, in a word...I am busy. Once again, blogging has taken a back seat, but we do have seasons in our life. This has just not been a season for blogging.

What Is Next O' Lord?

This is a crazy time in my life. By all means I should be scared shitless, angry that my work at home plans did not prevail, and exhausted from overwork and other unimaginable stressful situations that I do not care to dwell on. But the truth is, I am fairly energized, and oddly hopeful and anxious to see what The Universe has in store for me next.

Tomorrow I do have a day off and the biggest part of my day is going to be sitting down with my boys and figuring out how we can organize our days, and instill the importance of them becoming self-motivated. Can I do it? We shall see. I also plan to sit by the pool *smiling here*.

Singing is still first and foremost in my mind. There is a lady who sings at the winery where I work on Saturday. I won't post her name here because quite frankly I think she is terrible. She sings to pre-recorded music, no band...which is kind of what I am looking toward doing. She has a great stage persona, and the crowd eats her up. She doesn't really sing lyrics though, and thats what bugs me. She just sort of vamps through these songs saying the same thing over and over, and often she goes off-key or hits a note that is unsettling. There is one song she does sing that has actual lyrics, but whenever she sings it she totally screws it up...yet she is working. So, I think I can do this...

Anyway, it is an interesting life. I am sooo not going to complain. I am a student of each and every experience. Truthfully I fight tooth and nail, my subconscious says "No! No! I don't want to learn this!!!" But the Universe is relentless. I must learn.

Pictures From The Wedding

As promised, here are the awesome pictures from the August 9th Wedding of Scott and Charlie Creasy-Davis. My wonderful friends...

The Happy Couple






MoonGirl and Charlie







Mike and Pam









Sons of the Moon-Girl...Dante and Julian


Diane, Charlie and Tami

Lolita









Julian and MoonGirl

A Story About My Past

In 1986 I moved back to Escondido from my two year course at performing arts school. The teachers took me aside before I left and told me it would be wise if I chose another profession because it was obvious I was not cut out for the theater profession. They were right in one respect, I was very shy, not very ambitious, I couldn't sing and could not dance...truthfully, it did seem there was no hope. I had a small scholarship to join another performing arts college in New Mexico, but I was not able to come up with the funding for the entire program so I gave it up. I moved home with my sister, got a real job and decided to do some theater locally, just for fun.

The first show I was cast in was Sweeney Todd at the local Jr. College, which is an amazing show. The music is intense and difficult, the story is dark and bloody, and I was honored to be part of the cast. I was so proud of myself I couldn't stand it. (If you ever hear the music of Sweeney Todd you will know why). After that production I started auditioning at the local community theater, called Patio Playhouse. I was cast in one show, and then another...and soon enough I was part of the tight knit circle of actors and musicians there. We did a production of Little Shop of Horrors, which was also an amazing experience. The musical director was Charlie Creasy and his partner, Scott Davis, played Seymour. My other close friends were Pam and Mike, who started dating after the show and eventually married. (Pam used to be a nun, but decided to give real life a try) My other close friends were Dynell Leigh and Lolita Maddelena. In a production of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, I met a funny, skinny Italian boy named Bobby Di Clemente. It took awhile, but my friendship with Bobby grew to something more beautiful, we fell in love and were married in 1989. Lolita had a thing for Bobby, and I always felt bad about that...but Bobby and I were very close knit and our kinship was obvious.

As time went on, my story moved away from the theater. Our friends all went their separate ways...all except Scott and Charlie, they gay couple from Texas who have been my closest friends throughout the years. As some of you who read my blog know, Bobby (my husband) passed away after 10 years of marriage. We did not have a perfect marriage, and I will not pretend life was easy for us. Bobby was sick for a long time, and I was not a strong enough person to deal with all the sadness and pain that followed his illness. When he died, many friends made it to the funeral, and some did not. I never blamed any of the ones who could not make it, because truthfully, I was not able to make all the calls and although I had friends who DID make the calls, I don't know who was notified before or after the funeral. It was just a bad time for me.

Years have passed. I am raising Bobby's children the best I know how. I have remained closest friends with Scott and Charlie, who now live in Palm Springs. Two months ago the State of California lifted the ban on gay marriage and my two special friends set a date to be married. August 9th. The wedding was last weekend. All my theater friends from Patio Playhouse were going to be there. Lolita, Pam, Mike, Dynell, Diane and Tami...I couldn't believe it. I was actually really nervous. I had no reason to be. It was an amazing night. My friends had not changed. They were still right there, fun and supportive as always. Lolita found a wonderful man and married him. I was touched when she told him that she had a thing for Bobby but Bobby loved me and she had to step aside. Pam told me that I was the strongest person she knew and God put me in a position that she would not have been able to handle. (referring to Bobby's illness and death). Scott and Charlie's wedding was the most touching and heartfelt ceremony that I have ever witnessed. They waited 28 years for that moment, and it finally came. They looked like two teenagers who had just fallen in love. I can only wish for such an amazing relationship. When Charlie sends me some pictures, I will post them here. I could not wait to post this blog, I wanted to tell the world what an amazing weekend I had and about the wonderful people I met because I took the advice of my teachers and decided to have fun with theater instead of pursuing it professionally.